


The Lady in Red

by Goodnightwife



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 02:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17275397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goodnightwife/pseuds/Goodnightwife
Summary: Steve finds a woman (Reader) HYDRA left behind at an abandoned base. She has no memory of who she is but her power is undeniable. What did HYDRA want with her? How did they use her against the Winter Soldier? Will Steve be able to help her find her past and keep himself from falling in love with her?





	The Lady in Red

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my Tumblr in chapters.

Steve grunted as he jumped over the high fence and landed silently on the base side. Infiltrating a HYDRA base was mostly never dull, but this one seemed completely abandoned. He carefully made his way towards the main hangar doors.  
  
“See anything, Cap?” Nat asked through the comms in his ear.  
  
“Nothing yet. No guards, no alarms, no sign of anyone really,” Steve responded.  
  
“Well, keep looking, we need those files and this is the last known location.”  
  
“Yep, will do.” Steve carefully entered the building and began making his way to the file room they had already located on the leaked base plans. Turning down corridor after corridor, he found a completely empty file room. Drawers were pulled out and thrown haphazardly around the room, but there was not a single paper to be found.  
  
“Dead end, Nat. Everything is gone already.”  
  
“Well damn. Head on back then, I’m going to prep the jet. Sam’s waiting for us at the compound, said something about a bar where he found this girl.”  
  
Steve laughed, “He’s always talking about a bar where he found a girl. I’m going to take another quick look around. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.”  
  
“Copy that.”  
  
Steve took his time walking back through the base, still cautious in case someone was still hanging around. He made it all the way back to the large hanger when he started to feel like someone was watching him. He turned quickly and saw no one but couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that he wasn’t alone. He walked out of the hanger, stepped directly to the right of the door and waited to see if he was followed. Less than a minute later, a woman slowly and carefully stuck her head out of the door and looked directly into his eyes.  
  
As if she scared herself with her own actions, she shrieked and ducked back down behind the door. Steve could hear her slide down to the floor, quietly whimpering. He turned back into the hangar and saw her on hands and knees, head hanging low, swaying slightly back and forth, muttering to herself. He gently reached down and touched her shoulder. The instant his gloved hand made contact with her, she jerked back, landing on her bottom, knees pulled up to her chest, one hand covering her mouth, her eyes wide with fear.  
  
“It’s okay,” Steve said gently.  
  
“What’s going on, Cap?” Nat asked in his ear.  
  
“I found someone. A woman. She looks like they tortured her.”  
  
“Bring her with you, we’re going to have company in about 10 minutes. A whole squad is making their way through the woods.”  
  
“Copy.”  
  
Steve took his gloves off and held his hand out to the trembling woman, “We need to leave this place. HYDRA is coming back. We need to go now. My name is Steve Rogers. I can help you if you let me.”  
  
The woman stared at him and his outstretched hand.  
  
“Can you speak?” Steve asked. “What’s your name?”  
  
She violently shook her head.  
  
“You can’t speak or you don’t know your name?”  
  
She shook her head again.  
  
“Okay, that’s okay. Will you come with me? I’ll keep you safe.”  
  
The woman narrowed her wide eyes and stared at him for a second as if she were looking for something. She apparently found it because she slowly reached a trembling hand out and Steve carefully pulled her to her feet only to have her instantly faint in his arms.  
  
“Well, this might makes things easier actually,” he muttered as he picked her up and made his way quickly back to the jet. Once inside, he gently laid her on the medical bed and strapped her in.  
  
“We’re in, Nat. Let’s get out of here.”  
  
“We’re gone!”

* * *

  
  
Back at the compound, Bruce met the jet in the hanger, ready to help with the still unconscious woman.  
  
“Tell me what happened,” he demanded of Steve as he began checking her vitals.  
  
“I honestly don’t know what happened to her. She was in the abandoned base. She hasn’t said a word to me, but she made noise so I know she has a voice even if she can’t talk. I saw no obvious injury except she looks like she’s starving.”  
  
“Okay, help me get her to the lab and we’ll do a full body scan and start an IV of fluids. This might be easier to do while she’s still unconscious.”  
Steve carefully picked the woman up in his arms, noting how little she weighed with concern. In the lab, he laid her as carefully as he could onto a medical bed in a small room just off from Bruce’s lab.  
  
“Alright, Dr. Banner. I’m going to shower and change and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”  
  
“Okay, Steve,” Bruce nodded but didn’t look up. He was already engrossed in his work.  
  
Steve ran to his room, wanting to get cleaned up quickly and get back. He wasn’t sure how the woman was going to respond to Bruce when she woke up in strange place and he felt like she at least trusted him a little.  
  
As fast as the super soldier moved, it wasn’t fast enough. He got back to the lab in time to see Bruce duck behind his desk as the women threw a glass beaker at him. He stepped in between Bruce and woman, holding his hands up.  
  
“Whoa, hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.”  
  
She hesitated, her arm raised behind her head, ready to throw another beaker. Her eyes brimmed with tears.  
  
Steve took a step toward her, “It’s alright. No one here is going to hurt you. You’re safe now.”  
  
She dropped the beaker and fell to her knees on the hard floor, sobbing silently. Steve stepped toward her and carefully put his hands on her shoulders. She jerked when he touched her and backed away from his hands.  
  
“Okay, it’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to help you back up on the bed. Dr. Banner can help you, but he needs to examine you to make sure you’re not injured.”  
  
She vigorously shook her head, backing away some more. Her trembling hand rose and pointed to the IV pole, a tube and needle hanging down where she had knocked it.

“P-p-p-please n-n-no,” her haggard voice croaked in a whisper.  
  
“The needle? You don’t want the needle?” Steve thought maybe he was getting a clue as the woman shook her head again and pulled arms against her chest to protect them.  
  
“Okay, no needle. But you’re dehydrated and you need fluids, I’m going to work out with Dr. Banner how to best take care of you without using any needles, okay?”  
  
She slowly nodded; her eyes still brimming with unshed tears.  
  
“Okay, Bruce,” Steve turned as Banner came out from behind his hiding desk. “She’s apparently terrified of the needle. Is there a way we could just give her water and let her rehydrate herself that way?”  
  
“Well, she’s not horribly dehydrated so we can try it. I don’t know how she’s going to handle solid foods though. We should start with some protein shakes and go from there.”  
  
“Okay, thanks Dr. Banner.” Steve turned back to the woman. “Okay, no needles. I’m going to bring you water to drink and some protein shakes. They’re not the best tasting thing, but you’re not ready for solid foods.”  
  
Steve stepped over to the side of the room and pulled a couple bottles of water from the fridge. He brought them over and put them on the table next to her bed. He turned back to her, still huddled on the floor, watching his every move.  
  
“Okay, now, will you let me help you off of the cold floor and into this nice, soft bed?” He held his hands out to her, blue eyes pleading with her to let him help her.  
  
She slowly reached out one hand to him and he gently took it and slowly pulled her up, ready to catch her if she fainted again. She stood shakily but maintained consciousness. He led her over to the bed and she gingerly sat down.  
  
Now he noticed all the cuts and bruises on her arms. Her clothes were filthy and huge on her thin frame. Her top was sleeveless and had holes all throughout it. It used to be red, he thought. Her pants looked like they used to be nice, but now they were practically tatters. She leaned back in the bed and he covered her with the sheet.  
  
“You’re okay now. Rest and drink some water as you can. We need to get you hydrated and if the water bottles don’t work then we will need to come up with a new plan,” Steve reassured her with a gentle smile.  
  
He turned to leave and felt her hand on his. He turned back to her, surprised she touched him. She seemed to be struggling with something, her mouth opening and closing a few times. He waited patiently as she worked through whatever was holding her back.  
  
“Th-th-tha-a-a-ank y-y-y-you,” She finally muttered, her voice rusty from disuse.  
  
“You’re welcome,” Steve smiled. “Rest now, everything will be okay.”  
  
Her eyes closed and her body slowly relaxed into the bed. Steve sighed. He hoped he was making promises he could keep.

* * *

  
  
The woman slept for the rest of the day and through the night. Steve wanted to stay close in case she woke up suddenly even though Bruce said it would be a while. She was completely exhausted from whatever ordeal she had gone through. Still, Steve was hesitant to leave and ended up bringing a laptop and his files into her room and started working on his mission reports while she slept. Bruce gave him some instructions on what to do when she woke and then he went to bed. Steve caught a couple hours of sleep in the chair but mostly just watched over her, thankful for super soldier cells that don’t need the regeneration sleep provides on a regular basis.  
  
The next morning, he was sipping a cup of coffee that Nat had brought him, when the woman’s eyes fluttered open. She turned and stared at him, not showing as much fear as before, but still had wariness in her eyes.  
  
“Good morning,” Steve smiled, setting his coffee down on the small table. “How are you feeling today?” She didn’t answer but her eyes followed the cup. She looked from Steve to the cup and then to Steve.  
  
Steve picked his cup up again, “Would you like a cup of coffee?” She instantly nodded, eyes growing slight wider.  
  
“Okay,” Steve made a quick decision. “If you will do a favor for me, I will bring you a fresh cup of coffee.” Her eyes narrowed a little but she didn’t protest. Steve took a breath and jumped in, “If you would be willing to step into the bathroom and take a shower and then let Bruce examine you for internal injuries, you can have your own Keurig machine completely to yourself.” Her eye narrowed even more, Steve could see her mind working. “A Keurig machine is a type of coffee maker,” he explained further.  
  
“Clothes?” she finally asked softly. Steve smiled at the sound of her voice smoothing out.  
  
“Nat brought you some clothes and soap and shampoo are already in the shower for you. There’s a lock on the inside of the door if that would help you feel safer, but you have nothing to fear from anyone here.” She slowly nodded and began to move to get off the bed. Steve stepped forward with his hands out to help her get down, always ready to catch her, just in case. She hesitated slightly before taking his hands and letting him help her down and walked slowly into the bathroom. Steve heard the click of the lock once the door was closed and immediately went out into the lab to talk to Bruce, who had just walked in with his coffee in hand.  
  
“Okay, I got her in the shower but I had to promise her coffee.”  
  
“Coffee?” Bruce eyebrows shot up. “She’s not on solid foods yet but we’re giving her coffee? If anything, she would be drinking chicken broth or something like that. Did you ask her about her name and memories?”  
  
“No, I didn’t get that far yet.” Steve crossed his large arms over his chest. “If coffee is what motivates her to take some steps towards wellness, then that’s what it’s going to be. I’ll ask her about her name and memories after she’s out of the shower.”  
  
“Well, alright,” Bruce sighed. “Keep a bucket handy in case she throws up the coffee and for every cup of coffee she drinks, she needs a full bottle of water. Maybe we can find some balance somewhere.”  
  
“Right,” Steve nodded. “FRIDAY, I’m going to need a Keurig machine for our guest’s room and a supply of those little cup things.”  
  
“Yes, Captain Rogers,” the AI replied. Steve returned to the room and began putting his files back in order. He heard the shower running and smiled to himself. He was getting pretty good at this! After a few minutes, he heard the water stop and he waited near the door in case she needed help once she was dry. He heard the click of the lock and the door cracked open. He looked down and saw her face framed by a mass of wet hair, she looked directly into his eyes as if she knew the exact spot he would be standing.  
  
She opened the door and carefully stepped out, steam rolling out with her. The clothes Nat brought fit just a little large. Her red t-shirt and black sweatpants at least looked more comfortable than her tattered clothes. Steve offered his hands to steady her, but she shook her head. She just stood in the middle of the room, looking around the space. She looked back into his eyes, “Hair brush?” The words came out so softly, Steve’s super soldier hearing nearly missed it.  
  
“Oh, right! I’ll be right back,” Steve said as he walked out to find a comb or brush. Luckily Nat thought of everything and he found one in the bag she left in Bruce’s lab. Returning to the room, he found that she had sat down in his chair instead of back on the bed.  
  
“Here you go.” He handed her the brush and stood back, not quite sure how to help anymore. She raised her arm and hissed slightly.

Steve jumped to her side, “Where does it hurt?” She rubbed her shoulder. “Okay, how about I brush your hair?” She regarded him with curious eyes before she slowly nodded and handed him the brush. Steve stepped behind her and began to carefully brush out the tangles in her wet hair.  
  
“Okay,” he said as he began working on one knot. “I’m not a professional hairdresser, but I think I can manage this. Let me know if I pull too hard or hurt you. Have you been able to remember anything about yourself? Do you remember your name?” She slowly shook her head.  
  
“That’s okay,” Steve said. “When we don’t know someone’s name we typically call her Jane until we find out who she is. Do you like the name Jane? Just until you remember your name?” She thought about it for a moment before she shook her head again.  
  
“Okay, not Jane,” Steve continued brushing her hair smooth. “What name would like us to use then?”  
  
“Y/N,” she said, looking down at her borrowed red t-shirt.  
  
“Alright then, Y/N,” Steve smiled at the top of her head. “I think I’m about done with your hair.” Just as she was beginning to relax under Steve’s hands, Bucky walked in carrying the coffee machine.  
  
“FRIDAY told me you needed this, Steve. I don’t know wh-” Her scream interrupted him and she leapt from her chair and hid behind Steve.  
  
“Whoa, hey!” Steve turned and steadied her with his hands on her arms. “It’s alright, it's just Bucky.”  
  
She shook her head, her eyes terrified and she whispered, “The Soldier. The Soldier.”  
  
Steve turned to his friend, “Buck, give us a minute, will you?”  
  
Bucky nodded, put the machine down and left the room, tossing the woman a curious glance, trying not to be too imposing.  
  
“Hey, okay, sit down.” Steve guided her shaking body back into the chair and squatted down in front of her, keeping her hands wrapped firmly in his hands. “I know you’re scared, but Bucky isn’t the Soldier anymore. He will not hurt you. I promise you. Bucky is safe now, just like you are safe.”  
  
She looked hard into his eyes, almost like she was searching for something. She seemed to find it because she slowly nodded.  
  
“Okay,” Steve stood back up. “Are you going to be okay if Bucky comes back in and sets up your coffee machine? I’m going to be right here with you, I promise I won’t leave you alone with him.”  
  
Still shaking, she nodded, clinging to his hands.  
  
“Hey Buck,” Steve called. “Can you come back in here and set up the coffee machine please?”  
  
Bucky’s voice came from the other side of the door, “All good now?”  
  
“Good enough. Come on in, slowly though.”  
  
Bucky took one step into the room and waited, letting the woman look him over. He saw her shaking and his heart broke for her a little. He had been through so much; he understood all too well what she could be dealing with. He took another step towards the coffee machine and saw her tense. He paused a moment and then took another step. She never took her eyes off of him as he plugged in the coffee machine and hooked the water to the back.  
  
“Need anything else, Steve?” Bucky asked. The woman gasped and stood but didn’t hide behind Steve. She looked into Bucky’s eyes from across the room.  
  
“Not the Soldier,” she whispered incredulously.  
  
“That’s right, he’s not the Soldier anymore,” Steve replied, thinking that her progress was amazing, not realizing that she wasn’t asking a question or confirming what he had already told her. Bucky smiled a little and left the room only to be immediately replaced by Bruce.  
  
“Hey Steve, how’s it going in here now?” Looking down at his chart, he missed the look of amazement on her face as she watched his every move.  
  
“Green,” she whispered. Steve looked down at her in shock. Bruce looked up at her and she smiled at him. Genuinely smiled. Steve realized it was the first time he has seen her smile. He liked it very much. “I like green.”  
  
“What did you say?” Bruce asked. “How can you know about the… other guy?” She was suddenly uncertain and began to hide behind Steve again. His hands came back to her arms, trying to steady her.  
  
“Hey, it’s alright,” Steve tried to comfort her. “He’s not upset at you, just curious. Can you tell us how you know that Bruce turns green?” She shook her head as tears began to fall down her face, still trying to hide behind him. Steve gave up a little bit and let her hide behind him. He looked at Bruce and raised his eyebrows, indicating for Bruce to keep trying to talk to her.  
  
“Um,” Bruce began nervously. “Hey, it’s okay. I do turn green sometimes but you said you like green, right? So I’m okay. Can you look at me?” Her head poked out from behind Steve, her eyes stared into Bruce’s, as she took a step to the side and came out from behind him completely. Steve smiled at her progress. She took a step toward Bruce as he stood next to the bed.  
  
“I like green. You don’t,” she said softly.  
  
“No, I’m not his biggest fan,” Bruce replied.  
  
“He saved your life,” she said. Behind her, Steve’s eyebrows hit his hairline.  
  
“Yes, he has but he has also caused a lot of pain,” Bruce decided he was done with this conversation and tried to change the subject. “Now, can we talk about you?”  
  
Her eyes narrowed as she studied him. After what seemed like a small eternity, she nodded. Bruce gave a small sigh of relief, “Okay, I would like to examine you and make sure you have no significant injuries beyond what I can see on your arms.”  
  
She nodded and carefully walked to the bed and sat down, letting Bruce check her vitals again and answering his questions the best she could. After going over everything he could do there, he was ready to move her into the lab to do a scan. Steve helped her down from the bed, her knees gave out a little, but she mostly stood on her own. The scan took no time at all and then she was back in her bed looking expectantly at Steve.  
  
“Coffee now?” she asked.  
  
“Oh yeah, coffee! I did promise, didn’t I?” Steve brewed a cup of coffee. Handing over the hot cup, he warned her to be careful and if she began to feel nauseous, to stop drinking it. She held the cup under her nose and breathed in the aroma, her eyes closing in bliss. She took a tentative sip and almost moaned in pleasure.  
  
Steve couldn’t help but smile at her delight in a simple cup of coffee, but that only served to remind him how little he knew about her, about what she had been through, and about how she seemed to know impossible things.

* * *

 

Later that evening, when Y/N had drifted back to sleep after drinking a protein shake, Bruce, Tony, Bucky, and Steve began looking over her scans.  
  
“Look here,” Bruce pointed to her shoulder. “Scar tissue indicates that her shoulder has been dislocated and popped back into place multiple times.”  
  
“Any obvious reason?” Steve asked.  
  
“I think she was jerked around a lot by her arm, her upper arm.” Bruce answered.  
  
“Did she give you any more information?” Tony asked Steve. “Who she is, what HYDRA wanted with her?”  
  
“No, she doesn’t remember her name. She chose for us to call her Y/N and I let it be at that. I didn’t want to overload her. Are there any other obvious injuries, Dr. Banner?”  
  
“Well,” Bruce started. “Aside from her shoulder, I see scarring on her leg bones, indicating that both of her legs have been broken at some point. Her left wrist and her right ulna have been fractured and healed. But only the shoulder indicates multiple occurrences. I didn’t find anything on her skin other than minor cuts and bruises, very few scars, although I haven’t been able to see her back yet. There are still things that I can’t explain about her though.”  
  
“Like what?” Bucky asked.  
  
“Like how she knew about the Hulk. I’ve kept myself out of the news for quite some time now, since New York. There’s no way she could have known that I was the Hulk.”  
  
“She knew the Winter Soldier too,” Steve said. “When Bucky brought the Keurig in, she was scared of ‘the Soldier’. I told her that’s not who you are, Buck, and I’m pretty sure she believed me. She was okay when you came back in.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess so,” Bucky agreed with a frown. “Something is still off though. I can’t put my finger on it. I don’t recognize her at all. If I did see her when I was the Winter Soldier, it’s been wiped out.”  
  
“It’s alright, Bucky,” Steve put his hand on his shoulder and was about to say more but a cry pierced through the lab. All four men instantly reacted and raced to her room. Steve entered first and found her fighting with the blanket, screaming incoherently but still asleep.

“Y/N! Wake up! It’s a nightmare.” Steve sat on the edge of the bed, trying to grab her arms and wake her up. She cried out one final time as she sat straight up, eyes now wide open.  
  
“Are you okay?” Bucky asked. Her eyes snapped to him, tears pouring from her eyes and sweat dripping down the side of her forehead as she tried to catch her breath.  
  
“Still not the soldier” she whispered and fell back against the pillow, her eyes closed again. Bruce rushed to her side and checked her pulse and pupils.  
  
“I think she’s asleep again,” he said, staring down at this latest puzzle.  
  
“That was different,” Tony said. “Bruce, did you do a brain scan?”  
  
“Yes, I just haven’t had a chance to really look at it yet.”  
  
“Let’s go look now.” The two men left, leaving Steve and Bucky in the semi dark room with the sleeping Y/N. Steve scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed, elbows on his knees, letting his head hang low.  
  
“Why don’t you get some sleep, Steve,” Bucky suggested. “I’ll stay here with her.”  
  
“Do you think that’s a good idea, Buck? What if she wakes up again?”  
  
“I think it will be okay. I’ve had some experience with nightmares and if things get out of hand, I’ll get FRIDAY to wake you up. Besides, I’ve got the lab rats here too,” Bucky indicated Bruce and Tony whose heads were bent low over a computer screen.  
  
“If you’re sure,” Steve hated to leave her but knew he needed some rest too. “Maybe tomorrow we can move her into a more comfortable room, closer to everyone.”  
  
“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan,” Bucky agreed. Steve nodded, stood and stretched, clapped his friend on the shoulder and went off to his room for a shower and some sleep.  
  
Bucky took his place in Steve’s chair, watching over the sleeping woman, and within two hours, he was asleep too.

* * *

  
  
Bucky knew he was being looked at before he opened his eyes, he only hoped it wasn’t Steve catching him sleeping on the job. He cracked one eye open and saw that it was the woman staring at him from her bed. She was laying on her side facing him, quietly staring.  
  
“Good morning,” Bucky said.  
  
“Still not the soldier,” she whispered.  
  
“No, I’m not the soldier anymore. Did you know me when I was the soldier?” he asked her. She shook her head.  
  
“But you saw me?” She nodded.  
  
“I won’t ask what I was doing when you saw me,” Bucky scrubbed a hand over his face, looking away.  
  
“Sleeping,” she whispered.  
  
“I was sleeping?” Bucky asked. “Was I frozen or just asleep?”  
  
“Asleep. Not frozen.”  
  
“Why were you in a place where I was sleeping?”

She shrugged her shoulders at that question and rolled to get up. Bucky stood and offered his hands to help her stand. She didn’t hesitant, didn’t even look up at him before she took his hand and let him help her down from the bed. She began walking toward the bathroom but paused and looked back at Bucky. “Coffee?”  
  
“Okay,” Bucky grinned. “I’ll make you a cup of coffee.”  
  
In the bathroom, Y/N found a bag with some toiletries. She brushed her teeth and ran her fingers through her hair, being careful not to hurt her shoulder. She looked into the mirror and sighed, wishing she could remember how and when her shoulder got hurt, but she couldn’t. Coming back into the room, she was pleased to find a steaming cup of coffee next to the bed. Bucky, however, had left. She picked up the coffee and inhaled the steam. It was amazing.  
  
Out in the lab, Bucky stood with Steve, Tony, and Bruce looking over Y/N’s brain scan.  
  
“Most of this is pretty much normal,” Bruce explained. “But look at this place here just behind her right ear. This part of her brain is abnormally large.”  
  
“What does that indicate?” Steve asked.  
  
“In 2010,” Tony began, “some scientists did a study which highlighted this area of the brain as they ran tests on the subjects moral judgments. They believed that they had found what they called the “god spot”, an area of the brain that was responsible for morality. In our lady here, this section of her brain is enlarged, meaning that she may have anything from a higher moral code to possible inhuman ability.”  
  
“What do you think it means based on your observations so far, Dr. Banner?” Steve asked.  
  
“I’m not sure yet, Steve. She knew things about me that I have no idea how she knew. She knew things about the Hulk saving my life that only a handful of people know and they are all in this compound.”  
  
“She keeps saying ‘still not the soldier’ to me,” Bucky added. “This morning when she woke up, she said it again. I asked her if she knew me when I was the soldier and she said no, but she saw me once when I was sleeping. She didn’t remember why though.”  
  
“I wonder what HYDRA wanted with her…” Tony’s speculation was cut off when the topic of conversation walked into the lab with her coffee and a hairbrush.  
  
“Steve,” she said tentatively. “Can you help me?”  
  
“Of course, Y/N.” Steve and Y/N walked back into her room where she handed him the hairbrush and sat in the chair. “I’m going to see about getting you a room of your own outside the lab,” he began to tell her as he brushed out the tangles in her hair. “Would you like that?”  
  
“Yes, thank you.” She replied. “And thank you for the coffee, I can’t remember if I thanked you yesterday. Also thank you for saving me. I’m pretty sure I haven’t thanked you for that yet.”  
  
Steve came around in front of her and squatted so he could look up into her face. “You’re very welcome, Y/N. I’m glad you are feeling better and that you are able to talk more now. Bruce says that your shoulder had been dislocated a few times and that’s why it is so sore. But, before we move you out of here, he would like to examine your back, just to make sure he’s found all possible injuries.”  
  
Y/N looked slightly worried about that, but nodded slowly, “Alright Steve.” He nodded and started to stand but Y/N grabbed his hand, Steve paused. “Wait, um, I need to ask you about Bucky.”  
  
“What about him?”  
  
“How long has he not been the soldier?”  
  
“He’s been here a while, almost a year I guess. Why?”  
  
“Because I saw him when he was the soldier. He was sleeping. I don't know why I was there, but I know it was him. When Bruce looks at my back, don’t let Bucky see it, okay?”  
  
“Okay, Y/N,” Steve answered immediately, setting aside his curiosity. He went to get Bruce and when they came back, Y/N had moved to the bed to give Bruce a better look at her back, but she was facing the door, so that anyone passing by couldn’t see the back of her. Bruce and Steve walked around and carefully lifted her shirt to examine her back. Both men gasped.  
  
“They don’t hurt anymore,” she said softly. Her back was covered in scars. Either a large animal had mauled her or she had been repeatedly whipped with something very sharp.  
  
“What happened, Y/N?” Bruce asked, letting her shirt fall back into place.  
  
“I’m not sure exactly, but I think it might have been because of the soldier,” she whispered, keeping an eye on the door. “I don’t remember and until I do, I would rather not talk about it, and I would like you two to not talk about it either.”  
  
“Y/N,” Steve had an idea and came around the bed to look into her face. “We have someone here who can read minds, she might be able to help you regain your memories. Would you be open to letting her try?”  
  
“Would it hurt?” Y/N asked fearfully.  
  
“No, not at all. Her name is Wanda, and she’s one of the gentlest people I’ve ever met. Will you let her come see you today?”  
  
Y/N eyes searched Steve’s before she finally nodded. Time for fear had passed; it was now time for answers.

* * *

  
  
Wanda agreed to try to help Y/N regain some of her memories. When she came to see Y/N in the lab later that day, Bucky was telling Y/N a joke and making her laugh. Steve thought it might have been the best sound he had ever heard. Bruce began to be concerned about her cognition skills because the joke wasn’t all that funny.  
  
Wanda slowly stepped into the room, not wanting to frighten Y/N as she sat on the bed, seeing how fragile she really was despite the laughter. “Hello, my name is Wanda,” she said once she had Y/N’s full attention.  
  
Y/N smiled into Wanda’s eyes, “Red. You are all so colorful here.”  
  
“Did you tell her anything about me?” Wanda asked Steve.  
  
“Just that you might be able to help her find some lost memories,” Steve replied. “I didn’t tell her anything else about your powers. I promise.”  
  
“How do you know about me?” Wanda asked. Y/N gave Steve a worried look before turning back to Wanda.  
  
“I just see it,” Y/N replied, her voice shaking a little. “I don’t know why or how.”  
  
“Well,” Wanda began, “I can read minds and my power does sometimes manifest itself with red light. So what you’re seeing is true. May I come closer? I’m going to try to sift through your memories and bring them to the surface for you.”  
  
Y/N nodded nervously.  
  
“This shouldn’t hurt at all,” Wanda comforted her. Normally, Wanda didn’t need to actually touch someone to read his or her mind but in this case, she wanted to added power of physical contact. She sat on the edge of the bed and carefully held one of Y/N’s hands in hers and closed her eyes, searching through Y/N mind to see what memories she could find.  
  
Y/N’s eyes never left Wanda’s face until they suddenly closed and she hissed in pain, bringing her other hand up to her temple. Wanda’s eyes flew open.  
  
“Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I don’t know why that hurt!” Wanda released Y/N’s hand.  
  
Steve quickly came to the other side of the bed and put his hands on Y/N’s shoulders as she started to calm down.  
  
“No, I’m okay,” Y/N grabbed Wanda’s hand. “It’s alright, I know you weren’t trying to hurt me. Steve, I’m okay,” Y/N looked into Steve’s concerned eyes and thought them beautiful. Wanda smiled.  
  
“What happened?” Steve asked the two women.  
  
“I’m not really sure,” Wanda began. “There’s a lot of blank space, a place where the memories should be that is just empty. I found a few images here and there. Some of the Winter Soldier sleeping and some of different HYDRA bases, but nothing is connected and there’s nothing from before HYDRA. I did see everything since Steve found you, everything you have seen and felt and I might be able to explain a little bit of why you seem to know things about us.”  
  
“Please tell,” Y/N said, holding Steve’s hand for support.  
  
“Knowing what I know about all of us, and then seeing how you saw things about us, the best way that I can describe is that you see truth about us. Once you can see someone and then hear him or her speak, you see the truth. Like when you first saw Bucky, he scared you because you saw the Soldier. But when he came back in, you saw him clearly. And then he spoke; you instantly saw that he wasn’t the Soldier anymore. Steve told you he wasn’t, but once you saw him and heard him speak, you KNEW he wasn’t. Does that make sense?”  
  
“Actually, it does,” Bruce said. “The results of your brain scan, Y/N, indicate a very high moral function, or at least what I think could be a moral function. I can only imagine that this is part of the reason you can see truth about people. The area of your brain affected is directly behind your right ear so it’s likely linked to your auditory system.”  
  
Y/N took in everything with very little change in her expression. Steve, still holding her hand, looked concerned. “Y/N, are you okay? This is a lot to take in.”  
  
“It’s true. It’s all true,” Y/N answered. “I don’t know how I know, but I know. It’s true. Bruce and Wanda are right.”  
  
At that moment, Tony walked in with a table in his hands, “Hey kids, here’s something interesting.” He flicked his hand and a screen floated in the air in the middle of the room.

> _It was a room, a cell. The Winter Soldier appeared to be sleeping fitfully in a small bed on the right side. On the left side stood Y/N in chains with a large man next to her with his hand on her upper arm._
> 
> _“Steve,” the sleeping Soldier mumbled. “Steve.”_
> 
> _“Why is he saying that?” The man shook her roughly, causing her to gasp and making her chains rattle._
> 
> _“He doesn’t know. He’s not dreaming about anything in particular. He doesn’t know what he’s saying or why,” Y/N answered weakly._
> 
> _“If you are lying to me,” the man pulled her up to his height, her feet dangling off the floor. “You WILL be punished.”_
> 
> _“I’m not lying, he honestly doesn’t know what he’s saying or why,” Y/N answered weakly, tears streaming down her face as he put her down again._
> 
> _“Wipe both of their minds,” he ordered gruffy._
> 
> _“Wait! No! He doesn’t know what he’s saying, there’s no need to wipe him again!” Y/N pulled from the man’s grasp and stood between the Soldier and the guards. The man regarded her for a moment before grunting,_
> 
> _“Very well, whip her for her insolence and put her back in her cage,” he strode of out the cell while two guards grabbed Y/N’s arms and dragged her out too. Her slight whimpering could be heard as the video dissolved into static._

The room was silent. Wanda had wrapped her arms around Y/N and Steve was now sitting on the bed next to her holding her hands as they trembled and tears trickled down her face.

“Where did you find this, Tony?” Bruce finally broke the silence.

“Natasha and Clint planted some bugs around the last base they snuck into. FRIDAY was able to hack their system and pull all their files. This is the only one I have found so far that showcases our new friend here.”

Steve’s hands tightened on Y/N’s as he looked into her tear-filled eyes, “Do you remember that, Y/N?”

“No.” she whispered. “I remembered seeing the soldier sleep but I didn’t know why I was there. Makes sense though.”

Bucky, still leaning against the wall, brought his eyes up to the trio huddled on the bed. “You saved me from having my mind wiped again. I don’t remember ever seeing you, but you saved me. You took a beating for me. Why would you do that?”

“I guess I saw something in you that was worth saving,” Y/N turned her face into Steve’s shoulder as tears began to flow in earnest and his arm came around her protectively.

“Alright, I think this is enough for now,” Steve announced, allowing everyone time to nod before kicking them all out of the room. As Bucky walked past the bed, he paused and gently put his hand on Y/N’s arm, getting her attention.

“Thank you, Y/N, for trying to save me,” his voice broke a little as he looked into her eyes.

“Still worth it,” Y/N whispered as she smiled weakly at Buck, holding just a little tighter to Steve.

* * *

  
  
Later that evening, Steve helped Y/N move into a room closer to everyone else. He wanted her close to him so he could be there to help her, but knew she would eventually need her own space, so they put her in a spacious suite down the hall, in between his room and Bucky’s room. He figured that between the two of them, she would always have someone nearby, although he preferred that it be him. He was impressed with her progress, although she still had quite a few blank spaces to fill. Her memories of herself were still gone, but they were slowly beginning to understand why HYDRA was interested in her, and possibly why they would want her back. It was that last part that bothered him most and motivated him to keep her safe.

Steve got Y/N settled in her room, filling a couple of drawers with clothes that Nat and Wanda had bought and given to her and setting up her coffee machine. He asked Nat and Wanda to also make sure her bathroom was fully stocked before he moved her in. Carrying Y/N up from the lab was a delight. She could walk, and said as much. Steve just smiled and carried her anyway, enjoying the way her arms wrapped around his neck. Once she was settled in her room, he showed her around the common areas and the kitchen. He reminded her that she should take it easy on solid foods until she was stronger, but everything in the kitchen was fair game. Unless it had Clint’s name on it, steer clear of that stuff, he gets touchy about his food.

After drinking what Y/N hoped was one of her last protein shakes, she got comfortable in borrowed PJs on the soft bed. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt so safe and comfortable. Drifting off to sleep with smile playing on her lips, her last thought was of Steve.

Steve, on the other hand, was rather uncomfortable. He had been trying to catch up on paperwork at his desk but his focus was on the woman in the next room. His super soldier hearing wasn’t detecting anything other than normal sounds, but he was sensitive to anything that sounded like a nightmare. He was used to listening for Bucky’s nightmares but listening for Y/N felt deeper and more important somehow.

Around 3am, in the middle of a particularly dull report about an upcoming mission, he heard strangled moans coming from the next room. He leapt up, his chair rolling across the room, and went to investigate. He lightly knocked on Y/N’s door but received no answer so he carefully opened the door and saw her rolling around on her bed, her blanket had wrapped itself around her and she was trapped in it and in her nightmare.

“NO! Nononononononono!” Y/N yelled before breaking into a sob. “Please, no.” she begged.

“Y/N,” Steve kept repeating gently, trying to wake her. He started working the blanket loose, freeing her arms. Her right arm came loose and she began to flail, her back arching as she tried to escape the nightmare. He finally freed her left hand only to have a balled first hit him directly in the eye. For someone who was still in recovery, she packed quite a punch. He ignored the sting as he finally got the entire blanket off of her and began to shake her a little to release her from the nightmare. With one final scream, Y/N shot up and was finally awake.

“Steve?!” she cried.

“I’m here. I’m here.” Steve rubbed her arms as she tried to calm down. Sweat and tears flowing down her face. “I’m right here, Y/N. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

“Oh Steve,” she fell into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder as she cried. He gently rubbed her back, letting her cry into his t-shirt. After a while, she began to calm down and catch her breath. She pulled back to look into his face.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he comforted her. “It didn’t hurt that bad.”

“What didn’t hurt?”

“You, umm, kind of punched me in your sleep.”

“I WHAT?” Y/N looked horrified. She put her hands on the sides of his face and angled it down towards her so she can get a better look at him. There was no evidence on his face, but she saw the truth of his words as if he had a shiner. Tears began to well up in her eyes again.

“Hey no, no. Don’t cry, please! It’s really okay, I don’t even feel it anymore. Super soldier, remember?” Steve wiped the falling tears away with his thumbs.

She took a shaky breath, “Maybe you should get hazard pay for taking care of me.”

Steve chuckled and shook his head, “My life is a hazard, you are a joy.” He looked into her eyes and dropped his hands from her face, not wanting to push her. She retaliated by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. Her lips softly touched his cheek as his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

“You are a wonderful man, Steve Rogers,” she whispered. She released him and smiled sleepily.

“Well, I’ll let you try and sleep,” he began to rise from the bed.

“Wait,” Y/N caught his hand. “Um. I’m not quite sure how to ask this without it seeming… ummm… well, would you mind…”

“Do you need me to stay a little while?” he gently asked.

“Yeah, if it’s not a bother. I don’t want to bother you any more than I already have,” she said quickly.

Steve just shook his head, “As if you could bother me. I understand, Bucky has bad nightmares too.” He chuckled and scooted her over in the bed so that there was room for him. He tucked her back under the blanket and laid on top. She snuggled into his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close and stroking her hair.

“Is this how you comfort Bucky after his nightmares, Steve?” He could hear the smile in her voice.

“Decidedly not,” he replied, his soft chuckle reverberating through his chest.

“Thank you, Steve,” she whispered as she drifted back to sleep.

Steve gently rubbed her back until he was sure she was solidly asleep and then carefully released her and got out of the bed. He paused at her door, looking back at her serene face. He decided that it was time be proactive about finding out about her past, even if finding her past meant that her future wouldn’t be with him. He knew that he would do anything for her, even let her go, if that’s what she wanted or needed.

But first, HYDRA. 

* * *

 

After making his silent, personal vow to find out what had happened to Y/N and what HYDRA’s plan for her had been, Steve took every mission he could. He missed her when he was gone, but leaving was the only way to find the information he needed. He felt comfortable leaving her with Bucky or Wanda most of the time. It never occurred to him to take her along on the mission until Tony mentioned it. They had interrogated HYDRA agents on every base they had infiltrated but either no one knew anything about her, or they were lying.

“We should just bring her with us next time,” Tony said, after a particularly brutal interrogation that made even him a little nervous around an angry Captain America.

“Nope, not happening,” Steve was adamantly against it.

“But she could tell us if they are lying,” Tony persisted.

“Wanda can do that too,” Steve replied.

“But maybe being in some of these bases will jog Y/N’s memory. It also wouldn’t hurt to let her out of the compound at some point.”

“Out? Out so that HYDRA can steal her back? No. Not happening, Tony. Let it rest.”

“Don’t you think we should ask her? Doesn’t she get a say in her own future?”

Steve sighed, letting the fight drain from him. “Okay, we can ask her.”

The two men found Y/N sitting on the living room couches with Nat and Wanda. Whatever they had been talking about had all three women giggling. Steve’s heart swelled at the sound of her carefree laughter. He wanted to hear it always. Tony cleared his throat, halting the women’s laughter at their private joke.

“Ladies, I have an announcement!” Tony began, his arms spread wide. “I am available for dinner this evening for any and all takers!”

Nat rolled her eyes and Wanda giggled, “We are busy tonight, Tony. Sorry.”

Steve took Y/N’s hand, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure Steve,” Y/N stood and let Steve lead her into the kitchen. “Everything okay?” she asked when they got there.

“Well, yes and no,” Steve began. “I need to ask you something and you can absolutely say no. I mean, part of me hopes you will say no, but the rest of me wants you to say yes and I’m honestly not sure which one is better for you. I think I know, but I’m not really sure…”

Y/N silenced him with a hand on his arm, “Steve, you’re babbling. Please just ask me.”

Steve sighed, “I need to ask you if you would be willing to come with us on the next mission. We’re not getting anywhere with our interrogations and Tony thinks it would be a good idea for you to come with us and maybe something at the base will jog your memory and perhaps you would be willing to tell us when someone is lying to us. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Y/N face was thoughtful. She knew exactly why Steve didn’t want her to go but she wasn’t going to say anything about that until he did. She also knew why he wanted her to go, even the reasons that he wasn’t yet willing to admit to himself yet.

“Will you walk me through what you would want from me on a mission?” Y/N asked after a few moments of contemplation that had Steve two seconds from telling her to forget the whole thing.

“Well,” Steve began, crossing his arm over his wide chest. “Every mission is different but generally, we would fly in, take over the base, and once everything was safe, I would bring you in. We could walk around the base a little bit and see if anything looks familiar to you and then I imagine we would have someone to ask questions to before we turn them over to SHIELD and you can tell us if they are lying or not.”

Y/N nodded, “So I wouldn’t have to fight?”

“NO! No no no, I don’t want you fighting at all!” Steve moved from his spot leaning against the counter and came in front of her, running his hands from her shoulders down her arms. “I want you safe at all times and if things don’t look like they are going to be safe, I don’t want you leaving the jet at all.”

“And you think this might help me? And remember, you can’t lie to me.” The corners of her mouth lifting in a small smile, simultaneously lifting his heart.

“I think it might,” he replied with a grin. “And remember, I’m always honest.”

“Honest with others maybe,” Y/N replied as she began to leave the kitchen. “I think I will join you on the next mission,” she tossed over her shoulder as she walked out and rejoined Wanda and Nat on the couches.

Steve shook his head with a grin, Y/N read him like an open book. He never tried to hide anything from her, not that he could. But some things he just wasn’t ready to say out loud yet. 

* * *

 

The next mission came around three days later. Steve buried himself in his work and hadn’t really seen anyone unless they came into his office. He took his meals in his office or in his room while he worked on reading over reports and planning new tactics to get better results in finding Y/N’s past. As he finally came out of his office, heading to the debriefing, he realized that he hadn’t seen Y/N in two days. He didn’t know what she had been doing, who she had been spending time with. It bothered him more than he was willing to admit.

Entering the already full conference room, he found Y/N sitting in between Sam and Bucky, the three having a little conference of their own. Sam said something and Y/N’s laughter rang through the room. She shook her head at him and turned her attention to Steve, still smiling, making his super soldier heart skip a beat. She was beautiful. Steve cleared his throat, gaining everyone’s attention, and he began outlining the plan. This base had a lot of targets they wanted to hit all at once in a coordinated attack.

Nat and Clint were assigned the computer room to download all the files they could. Tony and Sam had aerial reconnaissance. Bucky and Steve would be the first through the doors with Wanda and Bruce backing them up and then heading to the base’s labs. Y/N would stay on the jet until Steve radioed the all clear and he would meet her at the door of the base. It was a pretty straight forward mission.

When everyone stood to leave, Steve motioned for Sam to stay behind.

“What’s up, Steve?” Sam asked, once everyone had left.

“I just want to ask you to watch over the jet and Y/N until everything is clear.”

“You bet I will. Y/N’s been spending time with me and Buck these past few days and we’ve really gotten to know her. We will absolutely watch out for her.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Steve sighed, turning away to head back to his office.

“You know that she asked Bucky and I to teach her to fight, right?”

“What?” Steve’s head whipped back around to Sam.

“Yeah, a few days ago. We’ve been showing her some simple hand-to-hand moves. More self-defense than actual fighting. But with her power, as long as we kept talking, she knew what we were going to do and was able to counter-attack before we even really moved. It was actually pretty damn impressive.”

“Hmmm,” Steve wasn’t impressed. “I’m going to talk with her about that,” he mumbled as he left Sam staring at his back. Steve found Y/N standing in the kitchen with Tony discussing what sounded like some kind of cookie Tony wanted to bake when they got back from the mission.

“Can I speak with you please, Y/N?” Steve asked from the door, still frowning. Y/N smiled at Tony and stepped towards Steve.

“Of course, Steve. Why don’t you walk me to my room so I can get ready to go?” She slipped past him and into the hallway. Steve took one last look at Tony who gave him a thumbs up of encouragement.

“I just wanted to ask,” Steve said as he joined her walking down the hall. “Why didn’t you ask me to teach you to fight? Why did you ask Sam and Bucky?”

“Well, you’ve been so busy and I didn’t want to bother you. I’ve hardly seen you since that night when I had a nightmare. One mission after another, you’ve been gone or in your office. Sam and/or Bucky are almost always around and they were willing,” Y/N shrugged. “Does it bother you that I asked them?” She asked even though she already knew.

“A little bit, but that’s just me being selfish I guess. I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I just want you to be careful. They might not go as easy on you like I would have.”

“Another reason that I asked them,” Y/N turned to face Steve, laying a gentle hand on his arm. “You are wonderful, Steve, but I needed to learn how to defend myself quickly, I didn’t have time for Mr. Nice Guy. Sam and Bucky have taught me well over the past few days. Between their teaching and my power, I’ve gained a lot of confidence in myself.”

“I’m glad you are feeling strong. I still want you to be careful on this mission. Just because it seems straightforward doesn’t mean that there won’t be any hiccups along the way,” Steve laid his hand over hers, holding it on his arm. “I care about you, Y/N. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“There’s that famous honesty,” Y/N smiled up into his eyes. “I care about you to, Steve. I promise I won’t intentionally do anything to put myself in any unnecessary danger.”

“Who decides what’s unnecessary?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“I do, of course!” Y/N grinned a cheeky grin and stepped into her room, turning back at Steve in the hallway. “But I promise, if I decide to do something you might deem unnecessary, I’ll warn you first.”

“That’s not very comforting, Y/N,” Steve grumbled through the smile on his face as she winked at him and closed her door.

* * *

 

Tony ordered a suit for Y/N, FRIDAY working her magic and taking measurements and getting everything perfect. Y/N wasn’t sure how she felt about having a suit, she wasn’t an Avenger, but it made sense because Steve had insisted on a bullet resistant lining throughout the entire suit. The suit was dark red with black accents. The black boots came half way up her calves and held a pocket for knives in each side, Natasha’s addition. Other than that, there were hidden pockets all over the place.

The team met in the hanger. Y/N watched SHIELD agents load equipment onto the jet. Sam walked by carrying his wings and winked at her. Y/N was only a little nervous. She would be surrounded with people who had quickly become like family to her. She knew she would do anything for them and they for her, but the thought of going back into a HYDRA base was a little scary. She was so steeped in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Steve standing next to her until he lightly bumped her with his hip.

“Hey in there, you alright?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Y/N chuckled lightly. “Just a little nervous I guess.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I know. I want to do it. I need to do it,” Y/N face showed determination. “I need to know that they don’t control me. I need to walk in under my own power and face this head on.”

“You won’t be alone,” Steve placed his hand on her shoulder. “I will be with you every step of the way.”

“I know you will,” Y/N placed her hand over his. “Thank you, Steve.”

“When we get back, will you have dinner with me? Just you and me?” Steve whispered, not wanting anyone else to share in their private conversation in echo of the hanger.

“I would love to,” Y/N’s eyes twinkled as she smiled up at him, knowing exactly what those words meant for him. Steve was honest with many people, himself lastly. She could see the truth written all over his face even without her power and it melted her heart looking into his crystal blue eyes that conveyed so much feeling.

He smiled down at her and took her hand and led her into the jet. Once everyone was settled and they took off, Steve stood and reminded everyone of the plan, giving Sam a look, silently reminding him to watch over Y/N. He nodded.

They landed about half a mile from the base. Tony and Sam took off, everyone else except Y/N made their way to the base, keeping everyone up to date on comms. Y/N sat next to the pilot’s seat in the jet, listening to all the chatter and then the grunts as the fighting began. Her nerves had relaxed some while Steve’s large warm hand held hers, but now that she was alone, her fears began to return. She listened as Nat and Clint reached the computer control room and began downloading files. Bruce and Wanda reached the labs with no issues and began their work there. Steve and Bucky were still clearing the last rooms of the base when finally Steve’s voice came through loud and clear.

“Y/N? It’s time. I’ll meet you at base’s hangar door. Everyone has been cleared out.”

“On my way, Cap,” Y/N’s voice trembled slightly, only enough for Steve to notice. Y/N exited the jet and began the half mile walk to the base. Even though her knees trembled with every step, Y/N pushed herself forward, trying to hurry to meet Steve. Making her way through the last clump of trees, she finally saw his navy blue suite and the sun glancing off of his shield. Giving a sigh of relief, she ran the rest of the way through the small clearing to meet him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders when she reached him, trying to stabilize her trembling. Steve looked to the skies and gave Sam a small salute as he flew over. Sam had watched over her from above as she walked.

“You still don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Steve whispered to Y/N.

“No, I’ve come this far. I have to do this,” Y/N replied, her voice still trembling but her shoulders squared under his arm.

“Alright,” Steve answered. “I’m right next to you and if you need to leave, tell me and I will have you out in a blink.”

Y/N nodded and stepped inside the hangar. Once her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she moved forward into the base itself. Steve led her down hallways that all looked the same, nothing prompting any new memories. He led her to the control room where Nat and Clint were finishing up. She shook her head, nothing looked familiar. He took her to the labs where Bruce and Wanda were digging through paper files. When Y/N stepped into the room, nothing looked familiar at first, but behind Bruce was another door. She weaved through the boxes of files and lab equipment and with a shaking hand, pushed the door open.

Memory flooded back to her in such a wave that she took a step back and ran into Steve’s chest. In the room was a chair with all of HYDRA’s memory wiping equipment hooked up to it. Her breathing became shallow as Steve’s hands came up to steady her. He tried to move her out of the room, but she stood planted firm.

“I was here,” Y/N whispered. “This is where it happened the first time.” She stepped forward, propelled by a need to conquer fear. Her whole body shook as she placed a hand on the arm of the chair. Memory crashed against her head like waves on the beach in a storm. Tears streamed down her face as she began to remember who she was, why she was there, and HYDRA’s ultimate plan for her. Every detail came back with such force that she couldn’t believe she had forgotten. Her childhood, her life before HYDRA found her, it all came back in a rush.

“Y/N?” Steve stood in front of her, hands on her shoulders. “What’s happening?”

“I remember, Steve. I remember everything!” her knees finally gave out but Steve caught her up in his arms and carried her out of the room. He gently sat her on a countertop in the lab and put his hands on either side of her face, searching her eyes.

“You remember?” he asked gently.

“Yes,” Y/N replied, tears still streaming down her face.

“We’ve got incoming!” Sam’s voice came over comms. “Looks like about 50, on foot, about a mile away to the east.”

“Everyone get back to the jet,” Steve commanded, not once taking his eyes off of Y/N’s face. She paled at the thought of being caught in the base. “Buck, we’re in the lab, meet us in the hangar.”

“Roger that,” Bucky replied from someplace deep in the base.

Everyone hurried out of the base, Nat and Clint confirmed they were prepping the jet for take-off. Bruce and Wanda followed Steve and Y/N to the hangar, Bucky was still on his way. Steve tried to send Y/N with Bruce and Wanda, but she wouldn’t leave him, too scared to even let go of his hand. He set his lips in a grim line and told Bruce and Wanda to get to the jet. Bucky arrived just as Wanda and Bruce made it to the edge of the trees and the trio took off at a run towards the jet.

Just as they were about to reach the trees, a shot rang out and Y/N fell, gripped her thigh as a bullet ripped through her flesh. Bucky turned and started shooting at the enemy, Tony and Sam joining in from above as Steve picked up Y/N and began running to the jet.

Behind him he heard a HYDRA voice yell, “Don’t shoot her, you idiot, we need her!”

“Bruce,” Steve called over comms. “Y/N’s been shot in the leg. Be ready when I get there.”

“Copy. I’ll be ready,” came the instantly reply.

“Hold on, Y/N, you’ll be fine,” Steve said as Y/N trembled in his arms. Bucky, Tony, and Sam followed closely behind, keeping the HYDRA soldiers at bay.

The instant Steve, Y/N, and Bucky were on the jet, Clint took off, Sam and Tony met them in the air and they headed back to the compound.

Y/N lay shaking on the stretcher while Bruce administered first aid and meds until he could get her to the lab to properly treat her wound. Thankfully, nothing major had been hit. Steve sat with her, holding her hand and stroking her hair until they landed. Bruce rushed her to the lab and immediately sedated her for surgery. 

* * *

 

Y/N woke to a semi-dark room and heard light snoring on her left. She turned her head and saw Steve’s blond hair resting on top of his arms on the edge of the bed. She looked around the room, she was back in the lab’s medical room, right where she began. She gently touched Steve’s hair, it was so soft. His gentle snoring continued.

Someone on her right gently cleared their throat and Y/N turned her head to see Tony.

“Welcome back,” he said softly, not wanting to wake Steve.

“Nice to be here,” Y/N whispered.

“I need to ask you something.”

“Sure,” Y/N replied softly, already knowing what he wanted.

“You can see truth about people when they speak, Bruce and Wanda told me that you knew things about them before they told you. I watched you with Sam and Bucky and you knew what they were going to do before they did it.”

Y/N nodded.

“What can you tell me about myself? I guess, what I’m asking is, is there anything I need to know, anything I can’t see about myself?” Tony fidgeted nervously.

Y/N smiled gently, “Tony, you don’t need me to tell you about yourself. Everyone has unresolved issues but nothing I can say will make you face them before you’re ready. You know who you are, you know what you want, and you think you know the price you are willing to pay for what you want. Nothing I can say would change your mind about any of that.”

“You’re not wrong,” Tony smiled grimly.

“What I will say is this, in your head I see a time when Steve told you that you weren’t the guy to make the hero play but then you ended up being the exact hero that the world needed. Remember why you made that choice and always be that selfless man, everything else will take care of itself.”

Tony nodded, patted Y/N’s hand, and left her to drift back to sleep, her hand still in Steve’s hair.

* * *

  
Steve woke with the feeling of a slight weight on his head. He slowly lifted his head and Y/N’s hand dropped to the bed. She was still sleeping. He watched her face as the early morning light streamed in through the window. She looked so peaceful and serene. He could stare at her all day. But now her memory was back. Steve thought he knew what that would mean, but it didn’t change how he felt about her. He didn’t want her to leave but he steeled himself with the knowledge that he would let her go if that’s what she wanted.  
  
“Still sleeping?” Bruce whispered as he stepped into the room and handed Steve a cup of coffee.  
  
“Yeah, she probably needs it. I’m not sure how well she’s been sleeping at night but I know she’s had at least one nightmare,” Steve replied softly as he rose from his chair and stretched.  
  
“That’s to be expected. I would worry if she didn’t have some nightmares, letting her subconscious work things out. Let me know when she wakes up so I can check her leg.”  
  
“Sure, Dr. Banner. Thanks.” Steve walked over to the window and stared through the slats. He hadn’t decided how he was going to let her go, but somehow he needed to try and talk himself out of loving her. He sighed and rubbed a hand down his face and sipped his coffee. This wasn’t going to be easy.  
  
“Hey you,” Y/N whispered from her bed. “You got some coffee for me?”  
  
“Good morning,” Steve turned and smiled. She was even more beautiful awake. He stepped to the bed and handed his coffee to her.  
  
“Thank you,” she sipped it gratefully. “What’s the prognosis?”  
  
“Bruce removed the bullet from your thigh. No major damage but you’re going to have to take it easy while you heal.”  
  
“Does that mean you’ll bring me all the coffee I want?” Y/N grinned. “Or maybe that you will cook me that dinner you offered?”  
  
“I guess it does,” Steve smiled back, taking her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “Any requests?”  
  
“How about you surprise me?”  
  
“Oh good, that’s my specialty!” Steve chuckled. Letting her go was going to be one of the hardest things he had ever done. “Let me go tell Bruce you are awake, he needs to check your leg.”  
  
“Okay, thanks for giving up your coffee,” Y/N squeezed his hand.  
  
“Oh, you owe me one,” Steve winked and grinned as he released her hand and stepped out to call Bruce.  
  
Y/N sighed happily. Her memory was back, her coffee was delicious, her leg would heal, and she had Steve. He hadn’t said the exact words yet, but she knew he loved her as clearly as she now knew her own name. Bruce came in with a smile.  
  
“How’s my patient this morning? Are you in any pain?” He gently pulled back the blanket and peaked under the loose bandage wrapped around her leg.  
  
“No, Bruce, I’m alright. It aches a little but nothing too bad.”  
  
“Good. Let me know if you need anything. Steve went to get you some breakfast. Are you having any headaches? I know that rush of memory can have some pretty crazy side effects.”  
  
“No headache right now. When is everyone going to want to know the whole story?”  
  
“Whenever you’re ready. You've made some pretty close friends here, everyone is interested to know about you, but no one will push you into anything you’re not ready for.”  
  
“I think I would like some breakfast first, and maybe a shower if possible, but then I think I’ll be ready.”  
  
“Alright, if you’re sure. I don’t want to interfere, but have you talked to Steve? There’s something going on there and I think I know what it is, but he’s not talking to anyone about it, not even Bucky. This mission he has been on for the past month or so has us worried. And if you are planning on leaving us when you are healed, I’m not sure how well he’s going to take that. He will try, I’m sure, to be everything Captain America is supposed to be, but that’s not going to be easy for him.”  
  
“I understand, Bruce. I don’t want to hurt him, or any of you for that matter. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I’m going to miss these little chats of ours.”  
  
Steve stepped in just in time to hear her last sentence; it sounded an awful lot like a goodbye to him. He took a deep breath.  
  
“Breakfast is served!” he said with a smile he didn’t feel. He set the tray with eggs and bacon and a new cup of coffee on the rolling table and slid it in place in front of Y/N.  
  
“Oh yummy! Thanks, Steve!” Y/N picked up the fork and dug in with gusto. Bruce excused himself mumbling something about checking in with the rest of the team for the debriefing in an hour.  
  
“Debriefing?” Steve asked Y/N, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. “Are you ready for that?”  
  
“I will be,” Y/N sighed. “I’ve spent the past couple of months here not knowing my own name or my past. Now that I remember, I’m not afraid to be open about who I am and what I’ve been through. I would like a shower first though.”  
  
“Alright, I’m sure that can be arranged. Eat up and I’ll take you back to your room.” Steve resumed to staring out the window while Y/N ate. She certainly seemed anxious to have everything out in the open, which meant that she was leaving. Leaving the compound. Leaving him. He had no right to ask her to stay with him, his life only brought danger and she had been through enough. He knew Fury could find a place for her to live where she would be safe and free. Make her own choices and live her own life. She deserved that.  
  
“Steve? Are you okay?” Y/N called from the bed as she finished eating.  
  
“Of course I am,” Steve replied before thinking. Y/N just stared at him.  
  
“Really? You’re going with that?”  
  
“Ummm… yeah, for now.”  
  
Y/N sighed, “Okay Steve. I’m sure you’ll tell me when you’re ready. Can you help me to my room so I can clean up?”  
  
“Sure. Bruce already sent a new bandage to your room so you can rewrap your leg after you’re done.” Steve gently put one arm under her knees and one behind her back and easily lifted her. Y/N’s arms came around his neck. She looked up into his face, knowing he lied to her but not wanting to push him. She simply enjoyed being in his strong arms, smelling his clean scent, and feeling safe with him. The truth she saw in him was something deeper than he was willing to admit out loud yet, but she was a patient woman.  
  
All too soon, they had reached her room. He gently stood her on her feet, his hands resting on her waist, reluctant to let her go. As long as he was touching her, she was still with him and not leaving. But the instant he released her physically, he knew he would have to release her emotionally. Instead of letting her go, he drew her closer, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into a hug.  
  
Y/N wrapped her arms back around Steve’s neck, allowing him to hold her close, reveling in his warmth. He buried his face in her neck and just breathed. He tried to memorize her scent, the feel of her in his arms, the sound of her breathing. He wanted to remember everything about her. He slowly began to release her but her arms tightened around his neck, holding him close. He brought his hands up to her arms and gently removed them from around his neck. Looking into her beautiful eyes, he sighed. Leaning over, he kissed her forehead and turned and left her alone.  
  
Even without his words, Y/N knew he was saying goodbye to her. She didn’t need inhuman power to see that. She sniffed, squared her shoulders, and limped to the shower. Debrief in 45 minutes. 

* * *

 

It took Y/N longer than 30 minutes to shower, but she managed. It would have been easier if Steve had stayed around to help her, but luckily Wanda stopped by to check on her. She helped Y/N wrap her leg and dress in a pair of loose black sweatpants and a red t-shirt. With her wet hair pulled back into a messy bun, Y/N and Wanda began the walk to the conference room. Halfway there, Maria Hill and Director Fury stopped them and took Y/N aside for a quick chat. Y/N motioned Wanda to go on ahead. By the time Fury, Hill, and Y/N got to the conference room, everyone else had already arrived and was seated. Steve sat in the back, as far away from Y/N as he could possibly get and still be in the room. Hill gently helped Y/N sit in a chair at the front and Bucky brought her a steaming cup of coffee. She smiled at him gratefully and he dropped a quick kiss on the top of her head and took the empty seat next to her.  
  
“Well,” Fury began, “I think we are all up to speed on the actual mission, seeing as how most of us were there. We will talk about the files we recovered once SHIELD is done analyzing them. For now though, let's hear from Y/N. I think we are all very interested in what she learned.”

Y/N took a sip of her coffee and cleared her throat.  
  
“I guess I should start at the beginning. My name is Y/N Y/L/N,” she let out a little giggle. “It seems I got my first name right. I was born in Roanoke, Virginia. It’s a beautiful city surrounded by the Blue Ridge Mountains. My parents died when I was three years old and I was put in a wonderful foster home. The couple never officially adopted me but they kept me until I was old enough to age out of the program and then they asked me to stay as part of their family. My choice. ‘Love is thicker than blood and names’ they used to say. During my second year of college, there was a fire and my foster parents died.”  
  
Y/N paused to wipe away a tear. “Unbeknownst to me, they had set up a trust fund for me. It got me through the rest of college and there was enough money left over to help me get a fresh start. I started working in New York City as a paralegal’s assistant. I had been there almost 2 years when the aliens came. My apartment building was destroyed and I needed to seek out my roots so I decided to move back to Virginia. On the way back, there was an accident. There was an explosion and my train car was blown sideways off the tracks. The last thing I remember was the car filling with this strange mist. Everyone died except me. I woke up in a hospital, confused and alone, but with my power. I didn’t understand it at first and certainly didn’t know to keep it a secret. Everyone kept saying that I was going to be fine, but I saw the truth. They were all terrified of me.”  
  
Y/N paused to take another sip of coffee and a deep breath. Steve’s heart ached for her. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and keep her safe.  
  
“When the doctors told me that they were releasing me, they brought a man in to speak with me about my power. He said he could help me develop it and use it to help others. He was lying to me and I knew it. He was HYDRA. Before I could do anything, he put his handkerchief over my mouth and I was out. I woke up in a HYDRA base.”  
  
“What did they want with you specifically, besides the obvious, I mean?” Wanda asked, not much above a whisper.  
  
“They wanted me to ‘help them’ with the Winter Soldier.” Next to Y/N, Bucky stared darkly at his hands clasped on the table. Y/N gently placed a hand over Bucky’s until he looked at her and she smiled at him. “It wasn’t your fault Bucky. None of this is your fault. They only ever let me in the same room with you when you couldn’t see me. I was always behind you or behind a partition in the room or you were talking in your sleep, like the video that Tony found when I first came here.”  
  
Bucky held her hand, “Why?”  
  
“They wanted to know if your reports were true. If you did everything they told you to do, and if you remembered your former life. They worried because you talked so much in your sleep; you called out for Steve almost every night. It worried them that no matter how many times they wiped your mind, you still called for Steve in your sleep. Once their scientists confirmed that my powers wouldn’t be affected by my memory, they wiped my mind too.”

“The same way they did me? With that same machine?” Bucky asked, his face pale and his voice raising a few pitches.  
  
Y/N bowed her head. A few tears made tracks down her cheeks as she nodded, “Sometimes they picked you up out of the chair and pushed me down in it and it was still warm.”  
  
“I don't know how you survived that,” Bucky gaped at her.  
  
“What do you mean, Bucky?” Bruce asked.  
  
“That process was extremely painful. I thought the only reason I could withstand it was because of the serum. It felt like they were literally ripping my brain out through my ears. I had to wear a mouth guard so that I wouldn’t bite off my own tongue.”  
  
“Yes, that’s what it felt like,” Y/N agreed. “I don’t really know how I withstood it. I passed out as soon as they turned the machine on. I don’t remember ever getting out of the chair; I always woke up in my cell, wishing I would die. It took me a couple of weeks to recover from it; they kept me sedated most of that time. They only did it a couple of times, but it was enough for me to begin to beg them not do it to either of us again. I only lied to them a few times when I said you didn’t know why you were calling out to Steve in your sleep. You knew why, you knew he could help you. You just didn’t really know who he was until later.”  
  
“I don’t know what to say,” Bucky said quietly.  
  
“You don’t have to say anything. I was so glad to do some good while I was there.”  
  
“What else did HYDRA use you for? Once Bucky had left them?” Hill asked.  
  
Y/N sighed; it was time to lay all the cards on the table. She took a deep breath and looked down as she spoke.  
  
“They used me for the same reason SHIELD wants to use me. For interrogations, interviews, or whatever you want to call it. I can see truth; I know lies when I hear them in an absolute way. And more than that, once someone starts speaking to me, I can see past their words and straight into their mind. People can reveal truths to me without even talking about that topic. I can’t turn this power off, I can’t chose when I use it and when I don’t. The only power I have over it is with what I say or don’t say about what I know. In the best-case scenario, I’m an invaluable asset. Worst case, I’m an incredible security risk.”  
  
Y/N looked up at Fury, “In the future, it might be best if you limit your direct communication with me. You’re good, but I’m better.”  
  
Fury chuckled, “I’m counting on it.”  
  
“Wait, what?” Tony spoke for the first time.  
  
“Before we came in here, Y/N and I had a brief conversation. I offered her a job with SHIELD, working with the Avengers.” Fury explained to the room.  
  
“I told him I would have to think about it.” Y/N finally looked at Steve, staring into his startled blue eyes as he stared into hers.  
  
“And have you… thought about it?” Steve’s voice cracked a little as he spoke.  
  
“Yes,” Y/N directed her comments at Fury. “I have some conditions that I hope will put to rest any fears anyone may have about working with me. I will accept the job under the following conditions.”  
  
Fury nodded for her to continue.  
  
“First and most importantly, I will never betray the confidence of any of the people in this room. That is my choice and it is absolute. These people are my family and I will treat them and their secrets in the highest regard.” Fury nodded once. “Second, I will help with questioning and interviews, but I will not be a part of any kind of torture.”  
  
“Um, is torture a thing we do?” Clint asked with one hand raised slightly. Y/N simply raised her eyebrows at Fury. He cleared his throat and nodded at her to continue.  
  
“Lastly, when I’m done, I’m done. I’ll ask nothing from you or SHIELD and I will expect to be left alone.” Fury considered for a silent moment, and then looked at Hill and nodded.  
  
“Welcome to the Avengers,” Hill said and stood, signaling an end to the meeting.  
  
Not many debriefings end with hugs, but this one did. Once Fury and Hill left, everyone in the room needed to wrap their arms around Y/N. She had become family to them too and their relief that she was staying was palpable. When everyone else had left, Steve and Y/N remained alone in the conference room. Steve was still processing everything that had just been said. Could he actually have her? This amazing, strong, independent woman, would she actually want to be his?  
  
Y/N stood at the head of the table, waiting for Steve to move from his chair.  
  
“I need you to be completely honest with me right now, Y/N,” Steve said as he stood and began walking toward her. Step by step, their eyes never wavering from each other’s.  
  
_Step._  
  
“I will.”  
  
_Step._  
  
“You’re staying?”  
  
_Step._  
  
“I’m staying.”  
  
_Step._  
  
“Are you absolutely certain that’s what you want?”  
  
_Step._  
  
“I’m sure.”  
  
_Step._  
  
“And you’re staying in this compound?”  
  
_Step._  
  
“Yes. Fury is going to send my things to me.”  
  
_Step._  
  
“Working with my team?”  
  
_Step._  
  
“Yes, the Avengers.”  
  
_Step._  
  
“Your choice also?”  
  
_Step._  
  
“Yes.”  
  
_Step._  
  
“Why?”  
  
_Step._  
  
“To be close to you.”

 _Step._  
  
“How’s your leg feeling?”  
  
_Step._  
  
“It’s sore and I’m tired of standing.” Y/N held her arms out to him.  
  
One final step and Steve swooped her up in his arms and buried his face in her neck, her feet dangling off the floor. Y/N’s arms wrapped around his neck and held him tightly. Steve sat on the table and carefully sat Y/N in his lap. His hands stayed wrapped around her waist, holding her steady.  
  
“I love you,” he confessed.  
  
“I know,” Y/N smiled up at him. “I love you too.”  
  
Steve brought his face down to hers and pressed his lips against hers with all the love he had. Y/N’s arms tightened around his neck, pulling him even closer, as she tilted her head and deepened the kiss until they were both out of breath. Steve pulled back for an instant to look into her eyes and then kissed her again, pulling a soft moan from her throat.  
  
The clearing of a throat broke the spell. “We are making lunch for whenever you two are done sucking face,” Sam said with a huge grin. Steve blushed.  
  
“Five minutes, Sam” Y/N answered, pulling Steve back for another kiss. 

* * *

  
_6 months later…_  
  
Steve had only ever been this nervous once in his life. It was pre-serum and he seemed to recall throwing up on that occasion. He hoped he could keep everything down this time. He was taking Y/N to Tony’s Christmas party. Normally, this event didn’t make him nervous and neither did Y/N, but he wanted to surprise her and that was incredibly difficult. He paced nervously outside her room, waiting for her to be ready. Bucky stepped out of his room, looking dashing in a smart black tux.  
  
“You’re going to wear a path in the floor, Steve. Calm down, everything’s going to be fine.”  
  
“I hope so.” Steve replied, almost sweating in his own black tux. Just then, the door opened and Nat stepped out looking incredible in a fitted black dress. Bucky gave a wolf whistle and held out his arm to her.  
  
“She’s almost ready, Steve.” She said, closing the door and taking Bucky’s arm, they walked toward the elevator.  
  
Steve paced again until the door opened and Y/N stepped out. His mouth fell open as Y/N did a turn in front of him, showing off her dress. It was a sparkling red halter-top dress that flowed down to her ankles with a slit up one side that ended just above her knee. As she turned, Steve’s eyes bulged when he saw it was backless, showing off her shoulders and back down to the small of her back. Nat had pulled Y/N’s hair up, leaving only a few delicate curls falling around her shoulders.  
  
“Well? What do you think, Steve?”  
  
“Wow. You look absolutely amazing.” Steve stepped forward and held her hands. “Maybe we shouldn’t go to the party.”  
  
“What? Why?” Y/N asked.  
  
“You look too good. I don’t want someone to steal you away from me.”  
  
Y/N laughed, “So cheesy, Steve.”  
  
Steve grinned and Y/N took his arm as he walked them to the elevator. A short ride later, they exited into the party in full swing. Tony’s parties were famous and the room was packed. They joined their friends at the bar, drinks waiting for them. Through the night, Steve rarely left Y/N’s side. He was only half joking about someone stealing her away. HYDRA had tried twice in the past six months to kidnap her and he was sure they would try again when their guard was down. Bucky and Sam were also on alert. Nothing could go wrong tonight.  
  
The band began to play a slow song, slow enough that Steve actually agreed to dance when Y/N asked. Steve caught Bucky and Sam’s glances as he led her to the middle of the dance floor and pulled her into his arms. Together they fell into their own world, caught up in each other’s eyes and touches. Y/N didn’t notice that they were the only ones left on the dance floor until Steve pulled away and knelt in front of her.  
  
“Y/N?” Steve opened a velvet box to reveal a perfect diamond ring.  
  
“Steve?” Y/N covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her gasp.  
  
“Y/N, will you do me the honor-“  
  
“YES! YES!” Y/N squealed and Steve wrapped his arms around her waist and swung her in a circle. He set her down and gently put the ring on her finger before pulling her in for a kiss to the applause of the crowd.  
  
Both knew life wouldn’t be perfect, nothing ever is, but they would handle whatever came together. Surrounded by the friends that had become family, Steve and Y/N stood locked together in life and in love. Two standing as one, Steve Rogers and his lady in red.

**Author's Note:**

> Little known fact, I'm from Roanoke, Virginia and I was missing home when I wrote the part where the reader explains where she is from. My parents were foster parents and the most amazing people I have ever known.


End file.
